Fear as a primary motivator never really works out the way we want things to. In one of my earlier blogs, I talked about how we should not be ashamed of our fears.
Let me tell you about a time fear gripped me.
When I was in nursing school I was taken out of my element. I drove to Northside hospital to start my mother-baby rotation. As part of this rotation, I was to be a part of the gross birthing process miracle of childbirth. On this particular night, my first night on the job, I had just been traumatized amazed by my first birth. Afterwards, my instructor immediately ushered me into the next room with the next baby waiting.
At this point, my mind had gone to another place. When I walked into the next room I was just standing there like a kindergartner in right field; I was picking flowers in my mind. In my distracted state, I never noticed what someone was handing to me.
Someone handed me the dirty, slimy, screaming bundle of joy.
Let’s step back a minute and remind everyone that I was in my early 20s and had never held any person who couldn’t partake in their own care. And now I had a brand new baby in my arms.
I froze… and not for a short period.
I was standing there with a screaming newborn and the only thought going through my mind was, “I’m going to break it… I’m going to break it I’mgoingtobreakiti’mgoingtobreakit.”
My mind was on full lock-down and had taken the rest of my body with it. Luckily my instructor noticed she had a student who was woefully unprepared. So, she guided me over to start my assessment.
Thinking back on this over a decade ago I can honestly say that I’m a better person for the experience. It forced me to be more confident around babies and I learned quite a bit before I had my own kids. Also, I learned a lot about pushing through my fear in order to do what I’m supposed to be doing.
That doesn’t mean I still don’t get afraid. I do and more often than I would probably ever admit.
Am I doing enough as a husband and father?
Am I living the life God has intended?
Paul told Timothy God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity but of power, love, and self-discipline (2 Ti 1:7). Paul knew the greatest power in the universe loves us and is looking out for us, so what is there for us to be afraid of? For God saved us and called us to live a holy life. He did this, not because we deserved it, but because that was His plan from before the beginning of time—to show us His grace through Christ Jesus. (2 Ti 1:9)
The biggest thing I must remember is when I don’t want to push forward because I’m scared, I still have my God standing there and He knows I’m woefully unprepared for this life. And He is always available to guide me through what I’m supposed to be doing.
So, let’s push through the fear and get to doing what God has called us to!