Personal Growth
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Don’t Avoid Your Fear, Jump Into The River of Doubt

Every summer I go with a group of friends to this place called High Rock. Our first trip there I had no idea what to expect. I thought maybe we were going rock climbing or maybe hiking up a small mountain, but that’s not what my friends had in mind. After driving down some rough back country roads, we reached High Rock. We parked the trucks and walked out onto a rock that overlooks a basin of water thirty feet below. I started to panic. I wondered what we were doing there until I saw one of my friends run full speed off the rock and disappear into the water below.

My panic level was at an all-time high, but none of the guys knew it. I didn’t want to tell them I was scared of heights. I doubted the water was deep enough to slow my momentum and prevent me from smashing my legs into the ground beneath. I was full of fear and I refused to jump until I saw everyone else jump and knew it was safe.

I have this same mentality with my faith at times. Doubt presents its face constantly. My initial reaction is to just avoid doubt altogether. I stay away because I am afraid. I was afraid to express my doubts to Jesus about certain aspects of my faith, I was afraid to share my doubts with my family about college, I was afraid to express my doubts to my friends about our relationships.  Instead of facing doubt head on, I ran.

But why should I fear doubt? Why do I tremble at my doubt? Jesus knows my doubts and all of His children’s doubts, just as He knew Thomas’ doubts. Jesus calls all of us to “put your finger here, and look at my hands. Put your hand into the wound in my side…” (John 20:27). Jesus is willing to present himself to ease our doubts so we are no longer “faithless any longer.”

As Keith said this past Sunday, I need to jump into the river of doubt. I need to express my doubt, wrestle with it, grow from it, and thus grow in the relationship I have with Jesus. Jesus wants us to experience the great joy of putting our trust in a God who is making absolutely everything in this crazy world work together for the growth and benefit of us.

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Spreading the love of Jesus to the craziest group of people, Jr. High students, is my passion and adds fuel to my own flame for Christ. I'm always hungry, so I am down for some free food!

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