Have you ever prayed, “God, keep me broken”?
When our Student Pastor, Keith Trollinger, talks about a time in his life when God was breaking him, he shares stories of pain, tears, and loss. We read in the Old Testament that Job experienced brokenness and in his anguish he wrote, “My heart is troubled and restless. Days of suffering torment me. I walk in gloom, without sunlight. I stand in the public square and cry for help.” (Job 30:27-28 NLT) When I think about being broken, I think about a powerful horse being worked until it has nothing left and finally gives in.
No one wants to be broken.
But the truth is I am broken. I am a failure, a sinner. I disappoint and hurt those I love the most. I don’t need God to break me; I’m already broken and desperately want to be whole.
So we try to fix our brokenness. We behave well and say the right things to the right people. We put on a happy face and hide our brokenness from each other. We pretend to be righteous.
We want to be whole, but by our own efforts we only appear whole. We are still broken and in need of healing.
Yet God freely and graciously declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. – Romans 3:24, NLT
Without Christ, I’m a hot mess. He is what holds me together. The grace of Christ is the only thing that makes me whole. Isaiah 53:5 says, “But he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed.”
It’s time we stop fooling ourselves and become keenly aware of our brokenness. We all have a dark side that we need to take to the feet of only one who can do something about it.
The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God. (Psalm 51:17 NLT)
God, keep me broken. Remind me I am only righteous because of you.