This past week has been a rough one for my family. On Thursday, we lost my Pawpaw, Dad’s dad. Losing him was a slow process. He was in ICU for three plus weeks. I found myself becoming angry and bitter about not having more time with him. I wasn’t angry with God, but with myself and Pawpaw. And I was also uneasy because I wasn’t certain where Pawpaw would spend eternity.
I’ve never really let death bother me. I’m not scared to die; I am confident that I will be with Jesus. But I didn’t have those same feelings regarding Pawpaw. I began to pray. A LOT. I asked Jesus to give me comfort; to give me some kind of confirmation on Pawpaw’s fate.
I didn’t know how that would happen, I only trusted that if God wanted to let me know, he would.
My wife Kelli and my 2 year old son, Liam, were sitting at the table coloring a picture of a snowman. Out of no where, Liam stopped coloring, looked at Kelli and said, “Jesus, Pawpaw.”
That was it. That was all Liam had to say. Jesus used the mouth of my 2 year old baby boy to speak peace into my bitter, angry, restless heart.
The Jesus I serve is real. He hears my prayers. He hears the cries of my heart. My Jesus is very much alive and aware of my needs.
I will forever worship the Lord our God! And I can’t wait to see you, my church family, this Sunday and worship with you.
Here are the songs for this week. There’s a new one in there so be sure to check it out and so you’re ready to belt it out this Sunday.
- Lay Me Down – Chris Tomlin
- Future / Past – John Mark McMillan*
- Let it Be Jesus – Christy Nockels
- Because he Lives – Crowder
- White Flag – Chris Tomlin